Hate
by misori
Summary: [Bakura x Ryou, pretty long one shot] I hate you. I hate everything about you but I hate myself more. I hate myself for being weak and unable to defend myself. But most of all, I hate myself for falling in love with you.


A/N : Hey there! Another dedication fic and it's a long one… so I'll dedicate it to more than one person! XP 

Title : Hate  
Written by : Misori Chan  
Genre : Romance  
Rated : PG-13  
Warnings : Shonen ai… meaning boy x boy love!  
Spoilers : Bakura's past and Ancient Egypt but I'm only… _hinting_.  
Pairings : Ryou x Bakura  
Disclaimer : I don't own Yugioh.

This fic is dedicated to **Suki No Hikari**, **SoulDreamer**, **Pork Steak the Grande**, **Hyacinthus**, **SilverWing147**, **Tayko**, and my friend **Tenshi No Kokoro** (whom I know in real life). I get to dedicate this fic to many people because it's long! My logic…  
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Hate

**Ancient Egypt**

Slave drivers, merchants, nobles, and people trying to get by littered the small marketplace everywhere he went. People everywhere, chattering away and trying to get a bargain. From as far as he could see, no one was paying much attention to him, even if he was wearing a bright shade of red. An indignant snort escaped him as he tucked his arms behind his head, stepping in a laid back fashion, one of no worry and fear. 

But he couldn't ignore the feeling he was being watched. Since he entered the market he hadn't moved much, the strange feeling of someone watching him intently distracted him from his much more important matters. Switching directions and going into the opposite way, he waited for _it_ to disappear. Thoughts of an assassin sent by the pharaoh passed through his mind, and a sense of dread in the air brought him back to earth. 

What exactly was so focused on him? 

Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught a small peek at whatever it was, high above on one of the taller buildings. He turned swiftly, garnet eyes now looking up at the architect. From the best of his vision, he saw a young boy not much older than himself, staring right back at him. He felt slightly insulted for the boy was looking _down_ at him. Oh, how he disliked high places. They made him feel insignificant, just another being in the world. 

And that was the first time he made it clear in his mind that he hated the boy, whose name he had yet to learn. The structure that his onlooker chose to reside on wasn't really that tall, only three floors and he could make out the youth's features quite well. Silver hair adorned him, wrapped around his face suitably, much like his own but more tame and long. What captured his attention most were the eyes. They were green, a rare color in the society. 

Then again so was the silver hair and he wasn't any different. Both fell under the category 'odd and strange'. Outcasts. 

The young boy raised his head from their previous position of resting and waved to him, allowing a wistful sigh to escape his pale, pink lips. The boy actually _waved_ to him. He didn't know what to do. Should he stand there and gawk or should he wave back? _No. Bakura does not wave to anyone, no matter how weird the situation may be_, he thought. Before he could acknowledge his subconscious further, the other one who looked nearly identical to him clasped his eye shut in an upward form, a smile now on his lips. 

_What the hell?_ 1 

Surprise and shock registered in his mind, staying there for quite a few minutes as his mouth gapped open. A shake of the head snapped him out of his daze. _No, no. Bakura does not get surprised by some no name boy that likes to watch him. _ He blushed, lowering his gaze so that he wouldn't get caught in the most embarrassing situation he'd ever been in. With his head down he did not notice the other waving to him again, and running away from his spot atop the shop. 

When he returned to his normal state of being and looked up, he finally realized the boy had disappeared. The sounds of a door being opened processed in his mind as his eyes were still on the rooftop of the… medicine shop. "Hi!" a voice broke through his thoughts. He turned around and stared, scrutinizing what was before him, a mere boy. One that happened to have caught his attention quite effortlessly. How he hated that little fact. 

_Such pale skin. How does he keep it protected from the sun…?_

"Um… hi!" the voice rang again. Pale hands waved in front of his eyes, snapping him out of his trance. "Hello…? Anyone in there??" 

"What!?" he snapped. The youth in turn just smiled and bowed in the most odd fashion ever. He bent his knees whilst still gazing into his own garnet eyes fixedly. It bothered Bakura. 

"Hello. My name is Ryou and I've been watching you for a while, ever since you entered the market actually," he giggled. _Such a straight forward kid, isn't he?_ "Won't you come inside and meet the apothecary? Perhaps you'll find what you need, no?" Bakura snorted. _Me, the King of Thieves finding something that I'd need in a place such as this? Most unlikely… but it might be useful. Oh, what the hell._

He nodded. "Great! Follow me, please!" And there it was again, the same strange smile he saw before, in which the boy's eyes were closed in a most happy and casual style. 

Once inside the scent of herbs nearly caused him to sneeze. It was dark and dank inside, what most shops looked like, but with an utmost unnoticeable aroma of friendliness, as peculiar as it may be. He followed Ryou obediently, almost like a dog. The thought of it made him cringe unconsciously. Thoughts of listening to someone was never one that he familiarized with. _I hate him. I hate everything about him. _

"Father! We have a customer!" Ryou called out merrily. 

"What!? I did not agree to being a customer!" Ryou turned around, a mischievous smile on his face. 

"Oh… so you've finally decided to speak…" 

Bakura was not enjoying where this was going at all. He suddenly found himself cornered to a wall by the boy, that same smile once again on his features. And worse of all, the boy, Ryou was his name, wasn't even using force to back him up against the wall. He was simply standing there, stepping closer to him every second, that same cheery smile there as his hands linked from behind his back in a cute, childish manner. 

_I hate him…_

"Ryou! Don't frighten our customer!" Ryou's father barked. Said Ryou pouted and twirled around to greet his father, only to pull him into a hug. 

"See, father? I am of use! I got you a customer! Aren't you proud of me, father? Hmm?" 

A chuckle arose from the man's throat as he patted his son's head affectionately. "Yes, I am proud." Then he looked up at the stranger gratefully. "Thank you. We haven't had a customer in a very long time. Business has gotten ever more hard since that flood." Bakura nodded, completely understanding of their present situation. It was a hard place to survive in, Egypt. "So, how may we help you today?" 

Then came the uneasiness. He didn't agree to come inside to buy some medicine, he didn't even know _why_ he agreed. It was the boy's fault, definitely _his_ fault. 

_I hate everything about him…_

"I… didn't actually come here to buy anything…" 

"No?" 

"I don't know why I'm here actually…" Ryou looked between his father and the stranger, his name still not been introduced to him yet, confused and oblivious to what was being exchanged. 

"Well… how about you stay here until you find out what it is?" 

_Stay here?_ Ryou mentally smiled. _That'd be nice…_

"I--" 

"Oh don't worry! You may pay off your rent by teaching Ryou about the outside world." Bakura stared at the man bewilderedly. How could he have possibly have known he was a wanderer? "Oh, don't look at me like that. I know from experience. You're a nomad aren't you, one who has no home, no place to stay, isn't that right? Then you probably know all about the outside world. Now Ryou here," he signaled to his son. "Is completely naïve and stupid." 

"Father!" Ryou crossed his arms indignantly. "I'm insulted that you would talk about your own son like that." 

The two bickered for a bit, ignoring their guest's existence. _What a strange father and son…_

Bakura cleared his throat just to stop the pointless argument. The two previously fighting males blushed, ashamed of their display. Ryou's father was the first to end the awkward silence, annoyed by the fact that complete stillness followed his blush. "So… will you take up the offer?" 

_Sure, why not? After all, I do need a little rest from all my 'adventures'._

"Yes." Ryou grinned. It was a great opportunity for him to make a friend, but little did he know that his soon to be friend was the King of Thieves, the one that the current pharaoh wanted to be caught and thrown into the dungeons. Little did he know… or perhaps he did… 

-

A day had gone by and already Bakura was getting irritated by the ongoing questions his charge kept throwing at him, the endless long conversations he had to bear, and for what reason? Nothing, just a stupid unknown cause that attracted him to the shop. No, it was the boy. The boy had watched him, stared at him for so long that he couldn't help but stare back. It was infuriating. 

"So, so! What about the pharaoh? Have you ever met him before? I most certainly haven't! But from what I heard… he's really a good pharaoh!" Bakura instantly snarled and pushed away Ryou. 

"He is _not_," he hissed. "He is _not_ a good pharaoh. He does not deserve the recognition he gets!" 

"So you know him then?" Ryou asked bluntly. "Do you have a grudge against him… or something?" 

"No! I am not talking about _him_, I am talking about his father, the previous pharaoh!" Ryou shook his head exasperatedly. 

"Ba-ku-ra. You're confusing…" 

"So what if I am!?" 

"That's why I like you!" Bakura paused, the giggling laughter of the other sliver haired teen flowing freely inside his head. Ryou liked him? 

Many more days passed by quickly, and still he remained there, flourishing in the other's company and long days of nothing more than talk. And he resented himself for liking, actually _enjoying_ the other's presence. So much bliss came from it that he found himself becoming more obsessed by the green eyed rarity's presence each day. Every moment he spent with the other was driving him to insanity, the only thing he had left. 

"Say… Ba-ku-ra… how do you kiss?" 

Bakura broke out of his thoughts, eyes wide. "What did you say?" 

"I said… 'how do you kiss?' I saw a couple just the other day kissing and I found it funny." 

"Why would you want to know that?" 

"Because I thought it was funny…" Bakura rolled his eyes. 

"You really are naïve." 

"Am not!" Ryou pouted. 

"Pouting doesn't work on me. But why the sudden interest in kissing?" 

"Because I found it funny! … Have you ever kissed before, Ba-ku-ra?" Ryou smiled, closing in on his friend. Clouds floated above the two lazily, shading them every once in a while. A breeze flitted by, whistling and blowing sand. Bakura leaned his head back against the short wall of the rooftop, deep in thought. 

He only had his parents as a young child and they'd kiss him goodnight and all. But he never actually _kissed_. 

"No…" 

"Really!? I thought you would… being a nomad…" 

"I have no time for such things." Ryou frowned, and joined Bakura against the wall, his arm barely touching the other's. 

"Why not?" 

"Because… I have other things to worry about! And it's none of your business." 

"But I made it my business so now you have to tell me anyway!" Ryou taunted, sticking out a tongue at the elder playfully. Bakura's face heated at the sight of the pink tongue. He looked away, eyes avoiding those green pools. He hated being weak and showing signs of weakness. But as hesitant as he was… he did want to experience what kissing would be like… 

"Ryou… come here." 

"Huh? Why?" Ryou titled his head to the side in confusion. 

"You want to learn how to kiss, right? We'll both learn so come… _here_." 

Ryou grinned and happily obliged. "Okay so what do I--" Before he could finish his question, Bakura pulled him into an clumsy first kiss. Ryou sagged against the other's body, wrapping his arms around the more built waist. "Mmm." Bakura then noticed an odd scent drifting to his sensitive nostrils. It was something he'd never in his life smelled but it wasn't bad, pleasing actually. Bakura broke the kiss, panting desperately for air. Ryou smelled strange… in a good way. 

"You… taste… good." He mumbled incoherently, still dazed from the heat. Ryou rested his head on Bakura's chest and closed his eyes blissfully, licking his lips absentmindedly. 

"You do too." Bakura finally realized what position they were in and roughly pushed Ryou away. He let himself get carried away… and he… liked it, truly _liked_ it. "Ba… ku… ra?" 

The older one stood up, eyes flaming with anger… and quite possibly remorse. "That was not supposed to happen." 

"What… Ba-ku-ra?" And the King of Thieves walked away, leaving a dazed and shocked Ryou alone. Ryou's lips quivered, his head now lowered and deep in thought. _Did I do something to make Ba-ku-ra mad…?_

Over the months that followed Bakura avoided Ryou at all costs, not wanting to give into his needs, to be next to the other and to… touch him. He shivered at the thought, memories of the kiss flowing back to him as he traced his lips. He really did miss the sensation, the feel of someone being so very close to him, someone touching him. How long was it since he had last felt such a thing? Ever since his village was demolished, he distanced himself from everyone, stealing for no reason at all but to survive. 

But right then, he felt a desperation to be near Ryou and he could no longer neglect and overlook the pull. So he sought out to find Ryou, only to find him crying on the rooftop with his head down momentarily, muttering things to himself. 

"I didn't mean to make Ba… ku… ra… angry. Why doesn't he like me? Is it because I'm a boy? He won't tell me anything… and he won't even talk to me anymore. I… I hate myself. Ba-ku-ra doesn't like me… I hate myself. I hate myself! I hate myself!!" Bakura scowled and kneeled down next to Ryou. 

"Shut up." Bakura pulled him into a passionate kiss. He was no sappy romantic and this was his way of comforting Ryou, kissing the daylights out of him. They pulled away a few minutes later, both breathless and eyes shining with lust. "I want you…" Bakura whispered distractedly as he nibbled Ryou's earlobe. 

"Then… then… you may have me…" And they lay together that night, both happy and satisfied with how things turned out, even if it wouldn't last, even if they knew that Bakura would have to leave someday. 

Morning arrived and the sounds of clothes rustling woke up the paler and more weaker of the two. He glanced at his lover's bare back, taking in a raspy breath at the sight of the long scar than ran down his spine. He still wasn't used to seeing the scars. A hand rose to gently trace the scar and Bakura tensed. "What are you doing?" he murmured. 

"I believe that if… I keep touching your scars… I'll get used to seeing them." 

A sigh of annoyance escaped Bakura's lips. "You really are naïve… even… after last night. It's… cute." 

Rising slowly from the bed, Ryou pulled the covers around him and shivered from the lack of warmth. His eyes were downcast and he fumbled with the blankets, twisting the cloth and releasing it, only to repeat the action over and over again. "Y-you're leaving aren't you?" The Thief King sighed and rested his back against Ryou's shoulder, clasping his eyes tightly from an internal agony. "I don't want you to leave, Ba-ku-ra… but if that is what you want… then… then… go… right ahead. I want you to be happy, Ba-ku-ra…" 

Bakura opened an eye and watched Ryou's face change from one of torment to one of forced happiness. Why was the other so selfless, so eager to make him happy? No one ever thought or even considered his feelings. Most believed he didn't have any and that he did not care. But… Ryou was different from the rest. Ryou was kind and caring, selfless. "I want you to be happy--" 

"Shut up. I hate you. I hate everything about you…" Green eyes widened in surprise. "But I hate myself more. I hate myself for being weak and unable to defend myself. But most of all…" Ryou did not understand what Bakura was trying to tell him. The elder wasn't weak at all, he knew from the times he spent with him. And he knew for sure that Bakura could defend himself if he needed to. What ever did he mean by saying those things? "I hate myself…" 

Ryou shook his head and pulled Bakura into an embrace. "No, don't hate yourself Ba-ku-ra! You may hate me if you'd like! I don't mind! Just don't hate yourse--" 

"For falling in love with you…" 

Ryou stared blankly and allowed his arms to fall to his side. "Oh. Do you hate me that much… Ba… ku… ra?" 

"I also hate it when you say my name that way." 

"Oh… I'll stop then." Ryou clutched onto the blanket, his knuckles turning white from the tight grip. He looked up when the feel of tan hands on his own pulled them away from the material, surrounding it in a warmth he felt addicted to. 

"But it doesn't mean you have to stop… because I love it more than I hate it…" Bakura got up, fully clothed and left the room promptly. Ryou followed him after struggling with putting on his clothes. He raced down the steps to see his lover packing, though he didn't have much, only his bright red cloak. 

"Ba-ku-ra… are you leaving?" 

"Yes. I've stayed here too long…" Ryou's lips trembled and his body started to shake. 

"It's not too long. Nothing is ever too long…" Bakura turned and glared. "But if you must… leave then. I won't stop you. I won't…" he repeated to make sure he wouldn't. "And I'll help make your journey safe…" 

After a few minutes of minor packing and chatting, the two were at the exit of the market. One of Bakura's hands rested on a horse's mane and the other held onto the pale one of Ryou's. "So… this is it…" Ryou remarked with anxiety. "I guess… this is goodbye… Ba-ku-ra? Ba…ku…ra…" 

"I'll miss the way you say my name." 

"Mmm" 

"I'll miss kissing your lips." 

"Mmm…" 

"But I'll miss you most of all." 

Ryou smiled and hugged his lover, slipping an object into his hand whilst doing so. They pulled away and the Thief King inspected the item. A single brow rose and he looked at Ryou expectantly. "A… stone?" 

"Yes… this way you'll always have a part of me. I found that stone when I was very little and I've kept it since then. It's brought me to safety every time I've gotten in trouble…" Ryou visibly flinched after telling his story. 

"So naïve…" whispered Bakura as he pulled Ryou in for a kiss goodbye. They parted ways, both of their last words forever trapped within each other's mind, more deeper than anyone can comprehend. 

"Ryou! My name is Bakura. You must have noticed that it is the name of the King of Thieves. Remember my name Ryou. I am the King of Thieves, Bakura. And I will kill the previous pharaoh's son for _his_ misdeeds." 

"Ba-ku-ra! I already knew that! And I wish that you do not forget me! My name is Ryou and from now on I'll be known as Ryou Ba-ku-ra, and always will, so that I may have a part of you with me…" he paused, taking a deep breath. "Don't forget me Ba-ku-ra for I'll never forget you! I hope to see you again! Come back to me soon!" 

-

It had been five days and four nights since he'd last seen Ryou and he was already feeling homesick. He laughed out loud bitterly. The King of Thieves… homesick. The people of Egypt would most definitely get a laugh out of that. The morning and afternoon was long as he traversed the grueling desert of Egypt, trying to find his way to the current pharaoh, to finish his revenge and return to his beloved. On the fifth night in the desert, he laid on the desert floor as he petted Ryou's horse. 

Garnet eyes watched the stars above as they longed to see the naïve one he kept thinking of. Holding the stone Ryou gave him, he whispered things to it, as if the rock itself was his love. Every night he'd think of their relationship, their so called 'love'. It had been truthful and equal from both sides but some things didn't make sense… 

_But it doesn't have to make sense. Nothing needs to make sense…_ he reassured himself, clenching the stone tightly in his fist. It was then that he felt it, the sense of dismay and a shiver running up his spine. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Something that involved… Ryou. He quickly got up and hopped onto the horse, riding out into the night for first time since he left. He was going to go back to Ryou. _Forget the pharaoh, Ryou is in danger!_

_**Come back to me soon!**_

_I'm coming Ryou! Wait for me… _

"Wait for me, Ryou! Your Bakura is coming back to you!" 

As he rode out as the moon glowed above, thoughts of Ryou kept flowing through his head, reminding him over and over of their strange 'love'. 

_"Hello. My name is Ryou and I've been watching you for a while, ever since you entered the market actually," he giggled. _

I hate him… 

I hate everything about him… 

"Ba-ku-ra. You're confusing…" 

"So what if I am!?" 

"That's why I like you!" 

"Say… Ba-ku-ra… how do you kiss?" 

"I didn't mean to make Ba… ku… ra… angry. Why doesn't he like me? Is it because I'm a boy? He won't tell me anything… and he won't even talk to me anymore. I… I hate myself. Bakura doesn't like me… I hate myself. I hate myself! I hate myself!!" 

"For falling in love with you…" 

"I'll miss the way you say my name." 

"Mmm" 

"I'll miss kissing your lips." 

"Mmm…" 

"But I'll miss you most of all." 

"Ba-ku-ra! I already knew that! And I wish that you do not forget me! My name is Ryou and from now on I'll be known as Ryou Ba-ku-ra, and always will, so that I may have a part of you with me…" he paused, taking a deep breath. "Don't forget me Ba-ku-ra for I'll never forget you! I hope to see you again! Come back to me soon!" 

**"Come back to me soon!"**

"Ryou! It won't be long until I'm back with you! I just hope… that I… am not too…" 

-

Fate was cruel. Fate always left him alone. Fate always made the things he became attached to disappear. His village… his parents… and now… his Ryou. When he arrived back at the marketplace he found it to be a bare, deserted wasteland, death reeking in the air. Worse of all, he could no longer feel Ryou's presence inside him. That light he felt when he first laid eyes on the youthful boy up on the rooftop was gone. The strange smile of his was gone and his scent faded with it. 

Bare and empty. He felt… vacant, deserted again. Bakura ran into the desert with blind rage. The whole time he held Ryou's stone in his fist tightly, yelling out at the gods for forsaking him yet again. He wouldn't let it happen again. He would not let another person he loved get killed. He'd destroy his problem. He made a promise to Ryou that he'd kill the pharaoh once and for all, and no longer would he become attached to anyone else… 

_Ryou…_

_I hate you. I hate everything about you but I hate myself more. I hate myself for being weak and unable to defend myself from falling for you. But most of all, I hate myself for falling in love with you…_

**_"Come back to me soon!"_**

"Ryou!!" 

But Fate was cruel, as always. Fate was not forgiving and Fate didn't not look at a person's life to decide what would happen. Fate made it so that he failed his Ryou and was locked inside a gold trinket for five millennia… 

But Hope always accompanied Fate… 

-

**Modern Time**

**_"Come back to me soon!"_**

For five millennia he remained inside the Millennium Ring, trapped inside its magic. His garnet irises opened for the first time in five millennia at the call of his lover. Was he hearing things or had he heard Ryou talking to him? No, it was simply his imagination. Five millennia inside an inanimate object does things to one's sanity. Ryou was dead, gone from this world, and he hadn't been able to do a single thing to stop it. 

Why hadn't he seen it coming? 

Had he been less blinded by revenge, he'd have been there to protect his Ryou. Had he not been so focused on destroying the deceased pharaoh's son, he might have been able to save his Ryou from the pain, the anguish. Had he been not so selfish and more like Ryou… so selfless… 

But what's done is done, and he'd have to make up for it… someway. 

"Oh… thish…ish for Wyou, Papa?" asked an eager child's voice. Great, now he was hearing a kid inside his head. Bakura snorted and waved his hand in front of him. Nothing, he couldn't see a single thing. "Sank yuu, Papa!" There it was again, that same child's voice. Somewhat irritated by it, he yelled out the first thing that came in mind. 

"Shut up!" 

"P-papa… did you 'ear that?" 

"No? B-but… Wyou heard…" 

"Okie… Papa… Wyou no talk kwazy…" 

"I said shut up!" 

"Papa! Wyou scwared…" 

"Okie Papa, Wyou go to wroom…" the child said dejectedly, making Bakura feeling guilty. No, it was a mere voice in his head. That was all, a voice. A voice. 

Bakura sighed in relief. The voice was gone, leaving him alone in his dark tranquility. Leaving him alone to think about… Ryou. Bakura's eyes widened, remembering the things the voice said to him. 

_He said… Ryou…_

A pushing feeling pulled him away from his thoughts and toward a light. Light! It had been so long since he'd last seen daylight and the sun. He outstretched his arms to hug it, the many years spent in the Ring and bitterness catching up to him. What he felt was heat, but more than that. There was a body pressed against his own, a very small and fragile boy's body to be exact. He pulled away and opened his eyes to meet familiar green pools. 

"Who yuu? Wyou don't know yuu…" mumbled the young boy. Bakura gawked. In front of him was what Ryou would have looked like as a kid. There was the same silver hair, the same eyes, and even the same strange smile he grew to like. It couldn't be… could it? He felt as if Fate was up there mocking him, laughing at him for actually believing that Ryou would be… there, waiting for him. So he shoved the boy, not very gently but not so strong that he'd hurt him. 

Little Ryou cringed when his back came in contact with the floorboard of his room. He whimpered and sniffed. The stranger _shoved_ him! 

That was the first and last time Bakura hurt 'Ryou' intentionally. He returned to the Ring though he didn't know how, and lost himself in thought. 

-

Three years of thinking. It took him three years of contemplating his situation until he finally came to a conclusion that the little 'Ryou' was Ryou's reincarnation. It _was_ possible and he couldn't deny the truth. He had met Ryou again, had gotten a second chance to redo things and he already ruined it. Frustrated and confused, Bakura smacked his head on one of the dark walls of his soul room. Three years. It took him _three_ years. 

He missed three years of Ryou's growth, three years of his life. 

But he'd make up for it. In the background he'd protect the currently growing boy, and never once would he reveal his presence. And that was how it was for a few years. Ryou would get into some danger and Bakura would take over, getting rid of the obstacle. Then Ryou would wake, claiming that he blacked out for a while. He was not even conscious of his invisible guardian's actions, never one to ask questions but to go with the flow, wherever it might lead him. 

Years went on like that, Ryou completely oblivious to his other's existence. But he did not forget their meeting. As he grew up, everyone kept telling him that it had all been a dream, that he met the stranger who looked like him in a fantasy of his. But even if they reminded him, he felt as if there was more to the mature other him. 

Then came the day that he left his homeland to move to Domino, Japan. As always, he kept the Millennium Ring his father gave him on his fifth birthday around his neck, wearing it like a treasured possession. Soon came his first day at school. It wasn't what he hoped it to be, kind and welcoming. It was the complete opposite. 

He became a bully target and the idol for a pretty boy fan club full of girls. He wanted attention but not like that. He wanted friends, people he could trust and tell secrets to. He wanted someone, if anyone, to be there when he was feeling down. All his life he wanted that one person but nobody wanted to be his friend. He was too pretty, one that needed to be adored but not cared for. He was too pretty, one that needed a beating from bigger teens and not a hug. 

On one certain day he found himself cornered against an alley's wall, the same old bully that liked to take his lunch money holding a fist at him. He couldn't comprehend why such a grown teen would want lunch money… 

Wasn't that for grade school? 

Next came the hits and blows to his stomach, face, and any other body part the bully could land a hit to. His eyes glazed over and his vision became blurry as tears slid down his face. What came next was expected. Every time he got a beating there'd be an funny feeling of a pull forcing him into the subconscious part of his mind. And he saw the whole thing. He saw himself beating the bully, hurting him more than the bully ever hurt himself. 

He saw blood. Blood was spilling everywhere. Blood… 

That's when he became aware of the fact that his other was not a dream nor a fantasy at all, but much more. Much, much more. As he felt himself falling into darkness, a name came to mind. A name that sounded familiar to his tongue and ear. It was a name he felt like he knew from somewhere… somewhere far away… 

_Ba… ku… ra… _

When Ryou awoke, he was lying on his bed, all evidence of his beating gone like always. His eyes immediately found their way to his gold treasure. A tugging from his heart commanded him to grip onto the cool metal. "Ba… ku… ra…" 

From inside his soul room, Bakura heard his name being called by the voice of Ryou. The same voice that haunted his dreams, his every being. The voice that would always whisper to him… 

**_"Come back to me soon!"_** He unwillingly shivered and allowed himself to be pulled away from the darkness. 

Not long after, he materialized in front of Ryou. The younger one jumped and fell off his bed. "You… klutz," he muttered, walking over to help pick up his past lover. Ryou was shaking involuntarily, eyes wide with fright. 

"You… you… you…" 

"Well, out with it already! You called me did you not?" Ryou tilted his head and reminded the ex-Thief King of his cute lover. He bit his lip to keep from pouncing on Ryou. It wasn't him, it was his reincarnation, and reincarnations did not have memories of past lives. 

"I did? … Are you… are you… Ba-ku-ra?" Figures. He even said his name like past Ryou did. 

"Yes. That is my name." Ryou grinned. 

"Funny… that's my last name!" He grabbed Bakura's hand into a friendly shake. "Hi Ba-ku-ra! I'm Ryou Ba-ku-ra…" 

"Hi…" 

The two eventually started to spend more time together, discovering more things about their lives. Bakura kept his love life a secret, not wanting to frighten the other away. 

But fate had a scheme up his sleeve and Hope could only hope… that maybe, just _maybe_… things would turn out alright of she played her cards right. 

It was during another day that Ryou found himself backed up against some alley, another bully wanting money from him and beating him to the ground. Bakura took over like always and got rid of the silly human, returning control to his light once they were home safe and sound. But things were different. Ryou was not happy that day… 

Ryou was angry, more mad that he usually was towards Bakura. They argued, both dragged into a fire that Fate had already prepared for them. 

"Why did you kill him!?" 

"It's not like I've never done it and you've never complained before! Why now? Why now, hikari?" 

"B-because… I-I…" 

Ryou couldn't tell Bakura. He could let his yami know of his dreams, of his fantasy of them together in a past life. Of how he was killed… and Bakura had mourned… 

How they shared a strange love… 

How he felt attracted to his yami… more than one way. 

Or how it was slowly affecting his mentality, his grip on reality. He just couldn't. 

"Because I don't need you to protect me! I can take care of myself!" 

"What?" Ryou half-smirked and repositioned himself. 

"Because I don't need you… and I can take care of myself… besides… I… I…" 

"Out with it already!" 

"I hate you!" Ryou began, repeating the speech the dream Bakura told him. "I hate everything about you!" he said with more feeling. "But… I hate myself more…" Bakura's eyes widened. The things his light were saying sounded… like… what he told Ryou in the past. "I hate myself for being weak and unable to defend myself…" It couldn't he happening, could it? "From falling for you…" 

He'd never say _that_ part to Ryou. He had recited it when he found out about Ryou's death but never did he actually say that. How in the world could his hikari know of it? "But most of all, I hate myself from falling in love with you…" 

Bakura smiled and pulled his other into a hug. "You don't have to hate yourself…" he whispered gently, how he often spoke when around Ryou…when around his hikari. It had been Ryou all along and he had been blind enough not to see… 

"You may hate me if you'd like. I don't mind. Just don't hate yourself…" Ryou choked on a sob and deepened the embrace. 

"You came back! You came back!" he shouted happily. 

"Yes… I did." Ryou laughed and playfully hit Bakura on the shoulder. 

"I hate you, Ba-ku-ra!" And the two shared a smile, Ryou's strange smile. 

**_I hate him… _**

I hate everything about him… 

"Come back to me soon!" 

He did, as soon as he could possibly manage. It took him five millennia… but he did. 

**_I hate you…_**  
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A/N : Well… that was 'strange'. Hehe… and long. Phew, I'm so glad I'm done with it. Tell me if you liked! XD 

1 Ah… cursing. Egyptians probably didn't have that back then but who cares? XP 

To **Suki No Hikari** : I hope you do read this! After all, I did dedicate this to you and some other people. 

To **SoulDreamer** : Sorry sorry sorry! I cannot update AP right now. School is irritating me!!! Bleh... so I hope this one makes up for it! XD 

To **Pork Steak the Grande** : Yesh! A long epic that involves RxB!! XP 

To **Hyacinthus** : I hope this was well written enough for you. I worked really hard on it! It nearly drove me to insanity! 

To **SilverWing147** : Hi hi! I'm dedicating this to you as well because you're so kind to me! /glomps/ I hope you liked it! XP 

To **Tayko** : Hello my friend! Have I told you that I love you!? XD You so rock with all the support you gave me. /sniffles/ Thank you! 

To **Tenshi No Kokoro** : Baotran! You'd better review this story!!! Hehehe... now that you have a memebership and all... 

And thank you all my readers for reading this horribly written fic. /nod/ I bid you all farewell! Tell me if you liked! XD 


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